Life is a little scary right now
Crazy and scary. We’re all watching our everyday lives turn upside down and wondering how it will turn out. We worry about our health and the health of our loved ones. With all the anxiety and uncertainty, it’s much harder to focus. Add to that the constant barrage of daily news updates, conference calls, home schooling, and cabin fever.
If you have ADHD, staying on track is a challenge. In the middle of this global health and economic crisis, it can be downright exasperating.
As Russell Barkley argues in his book, Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, distraction is not the only issue at play. ADHD is “a problem with the ability to organize behavior over time to prepare for the future”. That’s a pretty tall order right about now. As the situation changes, sometimes by the hour, our emotions can cause knee jerk reactions and a feeling of being out of control. Self control is at the heart of the ADHD challenge.
Luckily, Dr Barkley has some great tips to help keep you on track. He sets out 8 rules for success in your everyday life. I’m only going to discuss two of them here, but these two will pack a powerful punch.
Let’s see… Each day, you start out armed with a to do list and hopefully, a positive attitude..
Item 1-Load the washing machine Check!
Item 2- Take out some chicken for dinner. Check!
Item 3….wait a minute. Item 3 was Pay the bills. That’s important! You got your laptop. You cleared a space at the kitchen table. But what’s that guy on TV saying? There are shortages at the local grocery stores of bread, tuna and, oh my gosh-TOILET PAPER?!! Immediately you get up and go on the hunt. There must be something you need. An hour later, the bills haven’t been paid, but you’ve placed a sizable order at Costco.
Here’s where Dr Barkley’s first rule comes in to play. Rule #1 is Stop the Action. Easier said than done, right? The trick to stopping is to create a little pause between “Do we have enough toilet paper?!” and jumping out of the chair to check. That pause can be created by simply saying, “Hmmm, let me see now”. This buys a little time for your brain to think before acting right. now. Another way to buy time is to repeat what you’ve heard, “Ok, the grocery stores are running low on toilet paper…” again giving your brain a chance to catch up and say, “…but we have 32 rolls so I can put that off for a while”. Or maybe to say, “…and we only have 2 rolls left. YIKES!” THEN you can hop online and order. It takes practice but creating a pause between impulse and action gives you time to make better decisions.
Rule #2 can also help in this situation. Dr Barkley’s second rule is See the Past…and Then the Future. Stick with me here. People with ADHD have difficulty accessing their nonverbal working memory, or what he calls “the mind’s eye”. Being able to pull up images of past experiences helps you know what to do in the future. The strategy is to visualize any past experiences that might help you make a decision today. Dr Barkley suggests visualizing it on a device that you use and love-your iPhone, iPad, a video game, etc. Let’s take that last scenario. You hear the news. You pause and say, “Hmmm, let me see now”. You pull up that image of your iPad and press play. On the screen is a movie starring you. You’re reenacting a moment from your past that relates to what’s happening now. Maybe the last time you put off paying bills, you got hit with a late fee and your husband got really angry. Maybe the last time you headed off a shortage of toilet paper, you were queen for a day. Who knows? Retrieving images of past consequences can help you make a decision that will make sense now.
These first two rules won’t come easily. They require practice and Dr. Barkley suggests trying them in some of your not so challenging situations. If you tend to blurt out the first thing that pops into your head, you might want to try it on something that’s easier to avoid. For instance, if you don’t have a big sweet tooth, you can try saying, “Hmmm, do I really need that third cookie?”
Just pick one of the strategies and set an intention to use it at least twice each day. It’s like building a muscle-it takes time and makes you look good.
As important is to keep looking for the positives in your daily life. We’re all being asked to make sacrifices during a very difficult time, some people much more than others. So, take it easy on yourself and your fellow human beings. We’ll get through this together.
Source:
Barkley, R.A. (2010) Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. New York: The Guilford Press.
Suzanne Leon is a Certified Professional Coach who works with people affected by ADHD/ADD. Visit her website to learn more about the services she provides. Click here to learn about her monthly newsletter!